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Ideas for Saving Marriage |
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See, a person can only take so much of something before they break. The question here is when is your breaking point? How much longer will you have to endure this before you finally say no more?! We all have heard that marriage is about give and take. The two people must work together. In a marriage it is not always possible for both persons to have their way. Therefore, sometimes one person gives and the other takes. Of course this works much better if both people get to experience both the giving and the taking. Of course all people are different. Some spouses are willingly to go a lot further than others. Lives and circumstances are different and lead people to believe different thoughts.
Here are 3 situations which most of us would’ve faced and the decision:
- Your husband decided to take a new job in a new town. Do you willingly pack up and leave? This question depends on the location and the salary increase. The situation may be easier if you know that you can live more comfortably and not have to take on another job.
- You find out that your spouse has been involved in some illegal activity and desperately needs emotional and mental help. Do you take the children and leave or stand by your spouse and hope that things get better? I think this situation would be easier if the spouse is willing to get help and change. It also depends on the illegal activity.
- Your spouse is unhappy at his or her job and wants to quit. However, the loss of paycheck will change your life drastically. Do you encourage your spouse to unhappily stay at the job or do you refigure your budget to accommodate the loss in money? I’d encourage him to find a new job ASAP, which he has the passion for.
Once children come on the scene, life gets complicated. It’s much harder to walk out on a relationship when you know you have to support more than just yourself. So many women grit their teeth and soldier on. Can you soldier on like this for the rest of your life?
The answer is no, of course. If you do nothing, nothing will improve – in fact; you will feel worse and worse. So being in a position where you’re constantly wondering whether to stay or go is the worst place you can be.
So the important thing is to do something. You will feel much better for having made a decision.
A bad marriage is rarely the fault of only one partner. Yes, there are abusive, manipulative or just plain mean men, and men who marry just to get an unpaid housekeeper or a mother substitute. If you’re with one of those, the only solution is to get out. Even if it means spending some time in a refuge or squeezed into your parents’ spare room with the kids.
You married him because you loved him as a person and wanted to spend your life with him. Remember how good that felt? How would you feel if he suddenly withdrew his love from you and gave it wholesale to someone else?
The silent message too many new fathers get from their wives is, “I don’t care about you any more, except as a person who cares for this baby for the rest of your life.” If you think this section could apply to you, it may not be too late to fix it. It will need communication with your man. It will also need commitment from you, to recreate the loving woman that he married.
Of course, some women have no desire to re – ignite the spark between them and their husband. If that’s the case, it’s not fair to expect your husband just to provide you with a meal ticket. Yes, they’re his kids too, but don’t be surprised if he walks out on you in the end. You have to decide whether to soldier on until then, or take matters into your own hands and initiate the split yourself, so you can get on with your life and find your real soul mate. |
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